I met B, (that's how he introduced himself) in the summer of '89 when we were both cycle couriers.  The atmosphere was hostile, almost feral, to female couriers (2 of us) and B stood out as a friendly face in the crowd.  We became fast friends and before long, we were a couple.  We were an unlikely pair-I was 8 years older, an outgoing American, exuberant and cheerful, and he was quiet, introspective and shy.   I thrived on his kindness, patience and willingness to be vulnerable.  In turn, I know my sense of adventure and rapport with people helped to bring him out of his shell to grow emotionally and socially.  We had so much fun together.  He would always cook dinner for us at our flat in Peckham and I would sometimes do the cleaning up!  He didn't like riding the tube, so we cycled everywhere together.  Because of our job, we knew London intimately and it became our playground; exploring hidden gems and enjoying the best of what London had to offer.  When I moved to Germany to teach high school, we quickly realized how much we missed each other and so we decided that he should move to Germany.  It took him awhile to organize the trip.  He wanted to cycle  there and for some reason, insisted on bringing his quilt!  I told him we could buy one when he arrived, but he wouldn't hear otherwise.   I would often play my guitar for him, badly, and he would sing along, badly, but trust me, we made music together. 


When B starting exhibiting some mental health challenges, our relationship didn't survive the strain.  We continued to be close friends for many years. Eventually  we lost touch for a very long time but in September 2022, we reconnected.  (Thank you Paula!). We got caught up on the missed years and I am so deeply grateful for this.  I have recently reread every letter and card he sent me, there are dozens and dozens, and relived the beautiful, heartfelt, hilarious, sometimes sad, but always, respectful and loving times we shared together.  I've never known anyone like B and his passing leaves a hole and the deepest sadness.  In time, I hope that when I think of him, happiness will bubble up because I was so lucky to have loved this beautiful and sensitive soul.  I am a better person for having known him.  I will carry him in my heart always.